When Our Brain Plays Tricks On Us
I’ve been thinking a lot about thought patterns lately, and how they sometimes send us down a road we’d rather not travel. The truth is, our thinking patterns affect our emotions. At times, we all have irrational thoughts that influence how we feel. These feelings affect the way we behave. We run into trouble when these thoughts become a core pattern that causes us distress. Although there are many types of cognitive distortions we experience, I am sharing some of the most common ones in this blog post. I hope this information creates insight into how our “stinkin’ thinkin’” shows up for us. Additionally, I’ll explain how to squelch these automatic responses, and then replace them with rational thoughts (Grohol, 2018).
List of Common Cognitive Distortions
All-or-Nothing Thinking: Thinking in extremes such as success or failure, right or wrong, “always,” and “never.” Example: “Nobody ever talks to me in class.” This type of thinking promotes very high expectations of oneself. It causes low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.
Coping Tip: Remind yourself that most situations are rarely absolutes. Focus on the gray areas and change your vocabulary away from absolute terms unless they are true (Shimelpfening, 2018).
Mind Reading: Interpreting someone else’s thoughts about us without evidence they are true. Example: “He did not speak to me when he saw me. He must be mad at me.” Mind Reading can be a projection of our fears onto others. This type of distortion is an attempt to prepare ourselves for disappointment.
Coping Tip: Give the other person the benefit of the doubt, and don’t assume that you are responsible for someone else’s emotional state (Shimelpfening, 2018).
Catastrophizing: Thinking in worst-case scenarios. Example: “The boss wants to meet with me. I’m probably going to be fired, and I’ll have to sell my house because I can no longer pay the mortgage.” Catastrophizing can lead to self-pity and hopelessness (Grohol, 2018).
Coping Tip: Write down the irrational thought and beside it write other possible outcomes.
Should Statements: Saying “I should,” “I must,” or “I ought to,” as absolutes to motivate ourselves. Using these statements promotes guilt and shame that works against motivation.
Coping Tip: Try discerning what we can control or change, while recognizing what we can’t, and accepting the limitations without putting pressure on ourselves for things to be a certain way.
Emotional Reasoning: Assuming that our emotions reflect reality. The truth of one’s feelings overshadows other facts and information. Example: “There’s so much to clean in this house, therefore it’s too big of a task for me to conquer.” Emotional reasoning can lead to feeling overwhelmed and hopeless (Shimelpfening, 2018).
Coping Tip: Prioritize tasks to be done, and break them down so they don’t feel so overwhelming.
Personalization: Taking personal responsibility for events and outcomes that are actually beyond one’s control. Example: “My child is struggling in school. It must be my fault.” Personalization leads us to beat up on ourselves over things that are someone else’s responsibility. (Shimelpfening, 2018).
Coping Tip: Know your limitations and recognize other people are responsible for themselves.
Disqualifying the Positive: Rejecting positive aspects of a situation while focusing only on the negative ones. Example: You receive many compliments on a project you just finished. One co-worker makes a negative remark about the project. You focus on the one negative comment while disqualifying all the positive feedback. This cognitive distortion feeds low self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness.
Coping Tip: Be willing to receive compliments from others and allow yourself to repeat the positive affirmations that were given to you (Shimelpfening, 2018).
Overgeneralization: Interpreting one or two events as a general interpretation for future ones. Example: Making a bad grade on a test, and expecting to fail the next one, or fail the entire class. Overgeneralization leads to self-defeating thoughts and robs us of starting with a “clean slate” in future situations.
Coping Tip: Remind ourselves that every situation is unique, and the past does not always predict the future.
Some of us may resonate with several of the cognitive distortions listed above. The good news is that we are capable of rewiring our brains by changing our thought patterns. A good way to envision cognitive distortions, is to think of them like a car that is stuck in a rut on a dirt road. Driving in the rut mindlessly represents our default thinking patterns. However, we can choose to veer out of the rut and use more of the flat, smooth surface the road offers us. The journey will be much less bumpy, and enable us to respond rationally instead of reacting in a self-defeating way.
Until next time,
Amy
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Grohol, J. (2018, October 8). What is catastrophizing? Retrieved October 15, 2019, from https://
psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-catastrophizing/.
Shimelpfening, N. (2018, October 24). Depression and cognitive distortions. Retrieved October
15, 2019, from https://www.verywellmind.com/depression-and-cognitive-distortions-1065378