How Perspective Is Linked To Experience
The current election process and COVID 19 have given us ample opportunities to form and share our viewpoints. Many of us wonder how our nation has become so inharmonious and debatable. Additionally, we find ourselves reeling from fatigue that lingers without any hint of normalcy in the near future. Today I was looking through notes in my phone and found a quote I saved several weeks ago from Brene´ Brown. Her quote is applicable to helping us untangle the state of where many of us find ourselves. Brown states that “Perspective is the function of experience.” Regardless of our views, most of us would agree that our background, involvement with others, and our practices contribute to our present and future selves.
Experiences, positive and negative shape the filter we receive information through and provide a foundation that ushers in our thoughts, opinions, and behaviors. Naturally, experience consciously and subconsciously contributes substantially to what we each deem as right and wrong, helpful and hurtful, and fair and unfair.
Elyssa Barbash (2017) writes, “Perspective is your point of view, while perception is what you interpret from your five senses to form your reality, and thereby your point of view. She further asserts that perception plays a significant role in our memory. We each bear the imprint of positive and negative realities from living.
Our brains remember when a life experience produces pleasant, neutral, or threatening thoughts and feelings. For example, when an individual experiences abuse, their senses will log information in the brain that will later send signals of heightened threats in their environment. The intimidation one feels can be triggered by any of our five senses. This process is subconscious but when the fight or flight response in our brain is triggered, other parts of our brain that are more rational feel overpowered by the more primal parts that work to keep us safe in dangerous situations.
So, it would be fair to attribute fear responses to many of our virtual and in-person disagreements and arguments. The fear is often of the unknown which produces anxiety. Feelings are also sometimes produced when our brain remembers a previous time that closely relates to a current situation thereby triggering either affirming or invalidating responses.
This may be a time to ask ourselves to test what we feel and believe based on previous life experiences. As Dr. Phil McGraw says, “The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.” Oh how true this often is, but the good news is that we can indeed choose future behavior if we are aware of what is driving us. This requires some introspection and understanding of ourselves. Are we creating opportunities to discover why we feel the way we do? Or, do we tend to respond swiftly with the emotional part of our brain on high alert?
Here are some tips to slow down our responses when we find ourselves frustrated and looking for a different way to engage with others:
Pause, take a deep breath and count to ten. Let the rational part of your brain catch up to the emotional part.
Ask yourself what you are feeling.
Label the feeling. Look up “Feeling Wheel” as an excellent resource to help you specifically label your feelings.
Ask yourself what your motivation is for your response. If fear or anxiety is your response, further test the situation to evaluate if a less fearful response would be helpful.
Pull from both the emotional and rational parts of the brain in your response.
I hope these steps will assist you in maintaining your values and your relationships. We don’t have to choose one or the other. We truly can hold onto both if we eradicate the fear that pits one against the other.
Until Next Time,
Amy
865-670-0988
Barbash, E. (2017, April 03). Perspective: the difference maker in memories & experiences.
Retrieved November 08, 2020, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/
trauma-and-hope/201704/perspective-the-difference-maker-in-memories-experiences